


To breathe alone is a crime

by Webtrinsic



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Anxiety, Dissociation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Father-Son Relationship, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Tony Stark, Scared Peter, Tony Stark Has A Heart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-10
Updated: 2018-11-10
Packaged: 2019-08-21 19:03:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16582265
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Webtrinsic/pseuds/Webtrinsic
Summary: Being around superheroes, you're bound to see something you aren't ready for. Luckily Tony has experience, and wisdom ready to share.





	To breathe alone is a crime

**Author's Note:**

> not my favorite work but hey someone might enjoy

The Vision had an odd amount of curiosity for someone so philosophical. At least Peter thought so. 

"If I may ask, is it odd for you to normally be so shy and suddenly can't be when you're out as Spider-Man?" He'd asked, and Tony peeked up from his tablet then. Now that the question had been asked he couldn't help but wonder what the answer was himself.  He hadn't ever thought to ask that before, although it was a curious subject. Peter looked thoughtful as if he wasn't sure.

"I...It's nice, but I guess I don't really think about it much. 'Cause I don't always kinda think it's me...I mean well I don't really know how to explain it," he rambled, lightly smothering his mouth with his sleeve as he leaned against the couch.

"It's certainly understandable," Vision responded quickly, Peter turning his head to look at him with his own amount of curiosity.

"It doesn't seem uncommon for someone in your position to develop such large gaps in personality. Especially with your disconnect, dissociation and confusion are highly reasonable in your situation."

"His situation?" Tony quirked, placing the tablet on the table. 

"Peter's identity isn't public, and there is an obvious disconnect between the two's personalities. Much like split personality disorder, it's only natural unconsciously he'll act one way when in and out of the mask," Vision proceeded.

"So it's normal then?" Peter asked carefully, to which Vision nodded.  

"If it's also not too much trouble I am very eager to know what makes people shy?" 

"Anxiety?" Peter replied unsurely, "I mean I've always been shy. And then it got a lot worse, but over time I got better. But that's really the only reason I can think of. But I don't really remember how it started, I've just always been that way."

Tony cautiously watched as Peter crawled over the back of the couch, pulling his knees up and hugging to them. "I always kinda hid behind mom and dad, I don't know why. It's just that they were comfortable, and I was I guess scared of everyone else."

The silence led Peter to continue to ramble.

"Dad didn't seem to mind, I mean he tried to get me a little more out there. Never really worked though. Mom didn't mind me clinging to her, I think she even wanted to push off preschool 'cause she didn't want me to have to be there alone."

Tony watched the sad smile on the boy's lips, noting the soft reflective eyes as they stared intently at the couch cushions.

"I mean then they were gone, and even before then I didn't talk to Ben or May. I was always too scared too, and May never wanted kids so she didn't know how to act with me even with mom and dad around. Ben was nice and, of course, him being dad's brother it was easier for me to warm up to him even if it was just waving."

"I got a lot worse after that," Peter nodded, stretching the muscles in his shoulders as the two adults stared at him.

"Then after the first few years, it got better after one of Ben's therapist friends stepped in but yeah. Loads of other stuff kinda happened and I was just a whole load of other problems but now that it's just me and May. I'm not really shy around her. Other people, yeah a little... _a lot_ , I just really haven't thought much about it."

Peter had long since pressed his lips to his knees, not once looking up. And Tony carefully moved over, pulling Peter to him. Peter reciprocating, dully clinging as he rested his head against his mentor's shoulder.

All the reminiscing leaving him tired, but all the while his breathing became easy. He hadn't talked about it with anyone before, a large weight had been lifted off his shoulders. And not long after he was resting against his hero.

Tony glared at the sleeping child, watching as Peter's chest rose and fell in deep breaths before he looked back up at Vision with a mixed expression before he called out smoothly, “No more questions,” Tony tried to push the image of the boy curled up and obviously reminiscing out of mind.

The feeling of loneliness and isolation radiated and he couldn’t stop himself from coming forward to hold the boy. Helping stretch the sleeping body along the couch, the Avenger stuffed a pillow under the kids head before using the blanket on the back of the couch to tuck him in.

“May I ask you a question?” Vision spoke up, watching the scene playing out before him with curious eyes. Tony didn’t answer, more preoccupied with fretting with the blanket before Vision simply asked.

“Do you coddle Mr. Parker so much because you believe he is very much what you believe you wished you were?” The stare he received was deadly, yet the android didn’t seem concerned.

“I don’t coddle him,” he grumbled, eyes widening when he realized Peter’s bangs had fallen into the boy’s face before gently brushing them out of the way. Knowing the android was in a way right, but there were many more reasons that came to mind.

“Let him sleep, no waking him up with your questions,” Tony warned, moving to take his tablet before taking his seat on the other couch.

“You’re watching him sleep,” Vision pointed out before Tony restrained himself from shouting.

“I’m not watching him,”

Vision floated up, leaving them in peace. Vision never did come back after, he vanished with a fine note admitting he had left to find Wanda.

\---

The teen followed his mentor throughout the Avengers facility, Happy walking behind them as Tony explained the ups and downs of building his nanotech suit. Tony’s stride was confident, his ego screaming as Peter looked up at him with wide eyes that let anyone who saw them know to the boy it was Tony Stark who hung the moon.

The moment had been ruined the second Peter felt his spider-sense go off, straightening as he turned his head away from the man; a startled and confused look crossing his features. Tony grabbed Peter’s arm, eyes trailing the secretary walking before them as another person came into view gun in hand.

Tony had Peter tucked tightly against his chest the second a scream sounded ending with the sound of the gun and the squelching of brains before the final thud. He could feel the boy gasp against his chest, burying his face further against him.  _ Trembling, hiding, crying. _

His gauntlet enveloped his arm, shooting the man the second he turned to take a shot at them. The whimpers being forced against his chest were heart-wrenching to say at least, Happy rushed forward to make sure they were okay and block the body from their view. 

Tony hadn’t even realized his eyes had transfixed on the blown open brain, before carefully winding his arm around the boy’s waist. His fingers curled into the boy’s tresses to keep him close as he backed away.

Peter’s trembling form followed with some difficulty, but they managed to round the corner as Friday called from above that they had shorted the circuits on the metal detector. Tony cursed knowing there was something he’d neglected to update, now Peter was downright weeping because of it.

He’d wanted to assure the child that everything was alright and he was safe, but the body on the floor was a clear sign that it wasn’t. Considering how hard the boy’s fingers were digging into his shoulder blades, he likely didn’t feel safe at all.

So he did the only thing he could, apologize. 

“I’m sorry,” the kiss to the kids hairline was involuntary but Peter didn’t seem to mind. Peter seemed to be more than preoccupied with gluing his face to his throat. The crying didn’t stop.

\---

Tony knew Peter wasn’t this clingy before the incident, he’d never once clung to his arm, or shuffled behind him when overwhelmed but it seemed to be the new normal. He wouldn’t have minded if the behavior hadn’t stemmed from something he could have prevented with a simple update. 

Peter’s head had gently leaned against his upper arm, small hands clutching to his forearm as they walked the same corridor they had where his secretary Liana had been killed. A fact neither of them forgot as the boy lightly slid so he was still clutching but a step behind. _Hiding._ Tony figured he’d have to have to move his office so the poor boy didn’t have to walk through this corridor ever again.

“I’m here kid, we’re okay,” he assured, using a hand to urge the boy to keep walking by the small of his back. Peter sniffled, looking teary-eyed once they reached his office. Tony carefully guided the boy onto the couch, taking off his coat and wrapping it around the boy’s shoulders.

“I can still hear it,” The boy whispered, arms crossing over one another to grip the fabric surrounding him.

“I know,” the billionaire whispered, crouching before him, “I hear it too,”

But Peter shook his head, “I mean her heart,” the statement left Tony’s own heart to rev loudly much to the boy’s displeasure.

“You can hear heartbeats?” The billionaire asked incredulously.

“If I really focus, or when they no longer seem like background noise because there's something wrong. Hers was scared, jumping at the sight of the guy and the noise and-” Peter sobbed, head hanging as he continued, “Her...her head it- it sounded so wrong and suddenly the scared thumping had stopped and it was Ben all over again,”

Tony gulped, he hadn’t known the details of Ben’s death but he’d have never thought Peter had witnessed it. 

“C’mere,” Tony whispered, opening his arms for the boy before Peter nuzzled in. Sobs escaping him, as Tony held him to his chest.

“I know how it feels to watch someone who took care of you die,” Tony admitted, remembering his months in that damn cave, “And I know how much it hurts to see people you’ve never even talked to before die. I know you feel your heart skip and speed up, your chest tightening and you feel almost as if you're suffocating. The world fades out, and suddenly nothing has ever been so clear in that single moment,”

“But now,” Tony’s hand moved to the boy’s chest,” You can breathe Pete, and I’ll be right here to help in case you can’t,” Peter’s own hand found the man’s chest, palm gently resting over the now calm and painfully truthful heart.

“You’ll be here?”

“Of course,”


End file.
